The Perfect Marriage

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Does happily ever after really exist or is that just some silly phrase out of a fairy tale?

The fact is at no point in life can you be perfect at anything, but you can prepare yourself for the adventures of life.

And one of life’s biggest challenges is marriage!

Marriage is considered to be one of the hardest aspects of life to control and requires preparation emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

The old notion of “soulmate” is just overrated; “True soulmates” are the one you are married to no matter how unreal you might find them in the moment of aggression.

This is especially true as it is said that “true soulmates are not born but made!” It isn’t something that will happen in the first month, or even in the first year. It will take time, and patience, and commitment. It is believed that with the right amount of love, happiness, and communication anything is possible and your dreams of being together forever may one day come true.

I was married on 25th December 2015 and I have learnt both the numerous ways to destroy and build a successful marriage through “live experiences”.

Few months into our marital bliss, we sobbed on our couch with our heads in our hands. We fought numerous times and we made up even more. Each fight taught something new about each other and led to the reality check of ‘being married’. We disagreed on finances, our ideas of running the household, family, friends, even sometimes on our views about current news! Sometimes our fight led to other person jumping to conclusion without other completing the sentences. I found some his views unreal as he was sometimes stubborn and annoying during such fights and he might have felt the same as we never knew these aspects while we were dating!

Isn’t it during such fight we feel that this is not what I bargained my freedom for? Isn’t it during those hard times we do feel, marriages sucks and most often we assume the other person has changed or maybe we never really knew who they really were!

This happens because we often fold inside of ourselves these lengthy lists of qualifications, standards, and traits we expect the “right person” to meet. But the reality is there is no such thing as “right person” and this is because no one is perfect. There are in-built flaws in all of us and you just have to learn to live with it.

Do you really think there is any such thing as “the right person will come and wipe of your tears and your life will become magical”? Well NO! No one has that kind of power. How can one expect another person to encompass all of the ideals he or she is so grossly incapable of encompassing?

There are thousands of articles available that tell you ‘Dos and Don’ts of a successful marriage.  But the fact is every marriage is different and the rules cannot be same for all.

What I learned and still am is:

 “Believe in your partner and their intentions like we believe in ourselves!”

This does not mean turning a blind eye but it only implies considering them as part of you and trusting their actions even at a point when you know you are on the verge of breaking.

I strongly believe after being married to the person I love the most now is “No matter how wonderful he is, he isn’t a knight-in-shining anything because I am certainly no princess either!” And it would be unfair for me to expect him to be.

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Evidence, How does it matter?

Evidence is an important part of everyday lives. From choosing fuel for our vehicle, why CNG is environment friendly, to something as big as a court case, everything has its basis on the evidence. From choosing between jobs and to ubiquitous religious belief. The outcome of many criminal law cases depends upon the strength and admissibility of evidence-including physical proof, scientific evidence and witness testimony, owing to enactment of Indian Evidence Act in 1872. Access to accurate and reliable information is central to the idea of a democratic society like India. The enactment of Right to information Act 2005 is a historic event in the annals of evidence-based democracy in India.

So how is evidence used for policy decisions in India? India, as a growing international leader, already values the importance of informed policy decisions. As per the estimates of  Consultative Group to Assist the Poor (CGAP) report on “Achieving the Sustainable Development Goals The Role of Financial Inclusion reports 2016”, recent government effort to open banks in rural areas helped cut rural poverty by 14 to 17 percentage points. Similarly digitization of India will allow digital payment services to collect money from far-flung friends and relatives when faced with economic pressure including demonization. The Indian National e-Governance Plan (NEGP) envisages Citizen Service Centers as providing a primary mode of service delivery channel for rural areas. These reforms are in line with the Sustainable Development Goals (SDGs)-ending extreme poverty which explicitly mentions the importance of financial services. International and national research organizations need to focus on what different countries can learn from each other. The future of security, stability, and prosperity of all countries depend on it.

The importance of National Statistical Agencies is well-established owing to undertaking evaluation studies and large-scale population-based surveys. Data collected over long periods are available in the public domain, which is subsequently used by policy makers for policy development, program planning, monitoring and evaluation. Policy-decisions are also supported through technical advisory groups and expert committees within Government framework for example National technical Advisory Group on Immunization (NTAGI). Expert from various background present their expertise on subject matter and own research that guides policy decisions. Apart from this, many individual research organizations in India undertake individual studies that add to data resource. Policy level reforms are needed to strengthen the emphasis on generating policy-relevant information, translation of research into policy decisions, and implementation of policy through service delivery. For research to be tailor-made to policy questions, it is imperative to create platform for information flow between National and International researchers, institutions and policy makers. What approach produce seamless interaction? How best can this be achieved?

The twelfth five-year plan (2013-17) for higher education addresses three overarching challenges: excellence, equity and expansion in India advocating increased international research collaboration.

To help further these critical goals and exploring answers to the above question,  national and international development economist and policy specialists need to be brought together to identify actionable ways to move the evidence agenda forward by linking priority research questions with ongoing and future research activities.