Don’t know what to say to you…

I don’t know what to do…

Don’t know what to say to you?

Was it true?

Was it all a joke?

Whatever it is, I’ll choke!

Waiting for you to come up to me

Waiting for you to ask…

Waiting for you to say,

You love me forever and a day

Soon I realised

My mind paralysed

I am left alone

With a heart of a stone

I am staring at you with open arms…

Longing to listen to those subtle charms!

I don’t know what to do…

Don’t know what to say to you?

Advertisements

Love Lost

ancient-antique-chain-326616 (1).jpg

Is it wrong to still have hope

That one day I will win this battle dwelling within

My breaking and shaking soul

I have lost one true love

And I am cursed forever more

Gaining nothing more than lore

And a heart which has been torn

A fact I must consider

You want me nothing more than a memory

A chance is all I ask

If I failed, I’ll leave

But one thing you must believe

Forever broken my heart shall be…!

The Perfect Marriage

images (1)

Does happily ever after really exist or is that just some silly phrase out of a fairy tale?

The fact is at no point in life can you be perfect at anything, but you can prepare yourself for the adventures of life.

And one of life’s biggest challenges is marriage!

Marriage is considered to be one of the hardest aspects of life to control and requires preparation emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

The old notion of “soulmate” is just overrated; “True soulmates” are the one you are married to no matter how unreal you might find them in the moment of aggression.

This is especially true as it is said that “true soulmates are not born but made!” It isn’t something that will happen in the first month, or even in the first year. It will take time, and patience, and commitment. It is believed that with the right amount of love, happiness, and communication anything is possible and your dreams of being together forever may one day come true.

I was married on 25th December 2015 and I have learnt both the numerous ways to destroy and build a successful marriage through “live experiences”.

Few months into our marital bliss, we sobbed on our couch with our heads in our hands. We fought numerous times and we made up even more. Each fight taught something new about each other and led to the reality check of ‘being married’. We disagreed on finances, our ideas of running the household, family, friends, even sometimes on our views about current news! Sometimes our fight led to other person jumping to conclusion without other completing the sentences. I found some his views unreal as he was sometimes stubborn and annoying during such fights and he might have felt the same as we never knew these aspects while we were dating!

Isn’t it during such fight we feel that this is not what I bargained my freedom for? Isn’t it during those hard times we do feel, marriages sucks and most often we assume the other person has changed or maybe we never really knew who they really were!

This happens because we often fold inside of ourselves these lengthy lists of qualifications, standards, and traits we expect the “right person” to meet. But the reality is there is no such thing as “right person” and this is because no one is perfect. There are in-built flaws in all of us and you just have to learn to live with it.

Do you really think there is any such thing as “the right person will come and wipe of your tears and your life will become magical”? Well NO! No one has that kind of power. How can one expect another person to encompass all of the ideals he or she is so grossly incapable of encompassing?

There are thousands of articles available that tell you ‘Dos and Don’ts of a successful marriage.  But the fact is every marriage is different and the rules cannot be same for all.

What I learned and still am is:

 “Believe in your partner and their intentions like we believe in ourselves!”

This does not mean turning a blind eye but it only implies considering them as part of you and trusting their actions even at a point when you know you are on the verge of breaking.

I strongly believe after being married to the person I love the most now is “No matter how wonderful he is, he isn’t a knight-in-shining anything because I am certainly no princess either!” And it would be unfair for me to expect him to be.

Silliness in Love

Love

At times I may get upset

Without any reason

But just know that I only want your attention

I know at times I am hard to deal

But please just try…

Just a hug from you, makes me smile

I am not perfect and I will never be

But I promise one thing

No matter where life takes us

I will forever be there to irritate you

Make you mad and then love you ♥

Things My Father Taught Me…!

father-and-daughter

Have ever been asked a question on who inspires you the most in life, someone who impacted you and continue to do so even now? ‘Mom’ may be the first answer to most of you and this second the fact that ‘Dads’ are often the most unappreciated and under-rated people on the earth.

Brainstorming this for long and using my own life experiences, I strongly believe ‘Dad’s’ are the most amazing, inspirational and self-less creature on the earth ever born, and this is especially true for all the daughters out there!

The relationship between a father and daughter has something special about it, where both learn essential things from each other. The father learns how to open about his feelings while the daughter learns how to be confident and strong.

In my life my Dad has not only been an inspiration but has been a teacher, a mother, a friend and a guide.

Once, I had a week alone with my father as my mother was out of town, by the time she came back I had already skipped school thrice; ate junk on most nights; watched movies the entire night. He taught me to be ‘carefree’!

A year later on my mother’s funeral, I was sobbing my heart out when I caught the gaze of my father, wondering “What now? How are we even going to live the whole life without her?” He looked at me and nodded, it was a re-assurance that he is there, I need not be afraid. He taught me ‘empathy’!

Months after her death were constant struggle and to add to that came the age-long solution, re-marriage! Family kept insisting he should get married right away, but he denied. “How will you look after them alone? She is a girl, you can never be her mother”, they all kept feeding him. I still remember my father turning blind ears to all and he did what he believed in his heart. He taught me ‘self-belief’!

It was a year after her death; my father did everything for us without complaining. He learnt cooking for for us, and used to cook for us each single day. I remember him getting up at 6 in the morning to prepare breakfast, getting us ready for school, seeing us off, and he was always running late for office by the time he himself got ready,. His day ended at 10 in the night when he used to kiss us goodnight.  In the day’s routine he had no time for himself, he was always on his toes ready to make our lives easy. Yet he never complained, never frowned. He taught me ‘Endurance’!

He reminded me of my capabilities every time I failed a test, an exam or a game and made sure I achieve what I truly desire in heart. He criticized me, scolded me, complimented me but never let me fail. He taught me to ‘strive for success!’

 On the day of college admission, I sat there crying as my first tuition fee was to be filled, it was huge. “This is your dream,” he said. “This has been your dream. You only focus on working hard; I will figure it all out.  But remember this is your debt, which you should be able to repay by earning more than you put” He taught me to be self-sufficient!

To every girl her father is the first man in her life and the greatest gift he can give her is making her believe in herself! My father did the same, he taught me that I deserve the best in life and I should never be afraid to speak my mind of.

Most importantly for every daughter, their fathers set the standard for other men in her life. He shows her throughout his life that real love is unconditional and she continues to be the darling princes in his life forever!

Always believe in yourself and make sure you never settle for anything less then you deserve!

Final Adieu

treatment-finger-keep-hand-161477.jpeg

I held her in arms as she whispered ‘goodbye’

Her last breath as she let out a long sigh

Her face swollen, her skin cold and battered

By all means she left our whole world shattered.

I stroked her hand and wiped her eyes

Wanting so much for them to open and see

That I was alone

With agony growing inside of me

One last time I held her hand

And kissed her cheeks 

I wanted to carry her away from there

My loving Mother who was just too weak

I heard the people all around me

The silence of people now so loud

I walked away, my heart now broken

I tried to face the waiting crowd.

I watched those around shed tears

And utter words of sorrow

How could they know that I was dying inside

Now that I know you wouldn’t face tomorrow!