Rape: A Societal Block

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If you don’t feel her terror, you are not human!

“Student abducted, raped in moving car in Gurgaon, one held; Mumbai: Eighty-year-old arrested for ‘raping’ eight-year-old girl; Delhi High Court says 14-year-old gave consent, convict’s rape term reduced; Four-year-old girl raped by school van driver: Police”

Rape rears its ugly façade almost every day in daily newspapers through these headlines. News is filled with all kind of cases from brutal rape and murder by strangers to gang-rape by acquaintances to even rape by own relatives and spouse and it’s not limited to girls in their ‘ripe ages’ with ‘full blossom’ but the mentality has degraded to an extent that even a minor girl of 4 years, an infant girl or an old lady in her eighties are not spared.

Can anyone justify what do such ‘monsters’ see in a 4-year-old innocent girl and let alone an infant?

No! I am not justifying that raping a 20 year girl is acceptable but I am trying to question those who mercilessly blame that women show their body to get raped! She automatically becomes a target of ‘Victim-blaming’, where she is not just a victim of dreadful crime but a sadist society as well!

Sexual violence is often normalized and excused under allegations.

 “She should not have worn such clothes, after all boys will be boys!” “Oh! She was drunk, this was bound to happen, she had no moral values!”, “A husband has a right on a Women’s body that is not rape!”, ”Why was she working so late, a woman should be home before sunset!”

The irony is many times women themselves are seen justifying above statements! This does not make me angry but I pity such women and I have empathy for them. By labeling or accusing the victim, women can see the victim as different from themselves. These women reassure themselves by thinking, “Because I am not like her, because I do not do that, this would never happen to me.” Really? Wish that was true but it’s not, It can happen to anyone!

We need to stop objectification of women’s body and glamorization of sexual violence! It’s not a women’s fault, not her fate, not something a women need to be ashamed of, she did nothing to provoke rape and she is definitely not ‘sinned’.

I have come across varied views on rape as a societal block, but mostly they fall in to two main categories.

One who thinks rape is women’s fault!

To all the ‘wise men and women’ out there who sit at the ‘comfort of their home’ and lecture on how a girl could have avoided rape, how she invited it, have you ever thought how despicable you’re thinking is?

All are not born with luxury in their lap! There are women who are the sole bread-winner of their family, there are women who are ambitious, and there are women who are free-thinkers, who believe in living their life.

But yes! With all due respect to your sordid mentality, No one just no one asks to be raped! In the process of justifying your morbid thinking you are not just ‘Slut-shaming’ the victim but shielding the rapist as well!

There are no words to describe the horror of images of a women being dehumanized, barely considered a human corpse with alien looking fingers moving all over the flesh. When the hunger is met for and after hours of torture, disgrace, enormous pain and helplessness, she is thrown away, lifeless, like a piece of trash; in a gutter; on the road; railway tracks or even brutally murdered.

On the other hand, we have quite a good number of ‘men and women with moral values’ who supports grave punishment for rapist, they don’t blame women and are against slut-shaming, I am sure most of you reading this fall under this category.

Yes, we are filled with anger, we criticize, we organize candle marches, we cry, we have guilt’s that we live in a society where women still don’t have any rights to live freely. Yes, we are ‘good human beings!’

May I ask, have you ever stopped a boy from eve teasing a girl in your own society, while you were crossing the lanes during office hours? ‘I would have, if only I was not getting late for office.’

May I ask, have you ever talked to your male child when you saw him watching a scene in a movie about a girl being hit by her boyfriend? ‘I would have but he is only a child, he wouldn’t understand.’

May I ask, how many times in your own office, home or society have you ever stood against injustice to women, no matter how minor it is? ‘I would have, but that is not under my control’

May I ask to all women, how many times have you stood for the rights of your own daughters, sisters, and relatives in front of the men in the house? ‘I would have, but men are the decision-maker, aren’t they?

You cannot bring about a National change,   if you are not ready to fight for it in your own homes, own societies, own cities. Stop playing a victim in your own homes, stop being a spectator, stop accepting things that you think is wrong.

It’s high time we learn to take a stand!

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