If you are born and brought up in an Indian household, you must have witnessed the mixed vibes of the ‘Desi Feminism’ by now! I would more generally call it “Pseudo-feminism”.
Doesn’t ring a bell? Let me refresh your mind, with some of these “common” incidences of “Patriarchy in the name of women empowerment or feminism”
A mother talking to her friends at a party “We have modern thinking, we believe daughter’s education is of utmost importance, we won’t get her married until she graduates”.
Few minutes later, Same Mother talking in a raised voice to her daughter, “Stop reading that book! The food is ready, go and serve dinner to your brother, make sure he is fed well.”
At a marriage meeting, Groom’s family to bride’s father “We have no objections to her working after marriage. We only wanted a working woman for our son! We believe an independent woman is an asset to the family. We will treat her like our daughter”.
Same family after few months of marriage, “She is too strong headed and vocal! How she can take a decision without consulting us? An outsider will always remain an outsider! We should have never married our son to her”
In another family, Parent threw a huge party to celebrate birthday of their twin children, a girl and a boy. Two cakes were ordered, pink and blue! A relative “Your children are lucky to have you as parents!” Parents were overjoyed to hear this!
They called the twins and said, “Here are your presents my children”.
The boy said in a thrilled voice, “Wow! Dad I knew you would get me the latest laptop for my birthday!”
The girl said in a disappointed voice, “Again a doll! I wanted a laptop! I have been asking for it since 2 years, brother got new one”.
Father, “What will you do with a laptop, there are bad content on internet these days, he is a boy, he can handle, you are a girl and should stay away from such things. Girls should be playing with dolls; I got you the most expensive doll from abroad”
There are endless ways that Indians satisfy the image of being pro-feminism but in reality they are still trapped in the ironies of patriarchy.
Once a rape case is highlighted, people end up on roads in protest and candle marches. Ironically, these are the same people who turn blind eyes and ears when a girl is being eve-teased. These include women!
Feminism is not something to make hype about and become famous! Feminism isn’t about women who pose with sanitary pad or burn bras, or who slap men!
Feminism is equality of mind, status and freedom to anyone including men. It’s about raising voices against inequality standard prevailing in the society. Raising voices against the patriarchal standards that make it okay for men to violate women but even more for women to see this and turn blind eyes. Because it is mostly their son, brother or father who is the violator!
Feminism is not about women tearing each other down to rise up but to lift each other up.
Feminism is having an unbiased, non-judgmental attitude towards everyone.
Obviously people do gossip, human nature; but problem is when those gossip session can clog your judgement about a fellow women! Feminism also mean having a strong and bold mindset.
Feminism embarks trust and respect in women, for women and by women!
Stop being the victims and propagators of pseudo-feminism!