Rape: A Societal Block

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If you don’t feel her terror, you are not human!

“Student abducted, raped in moving car in Gurgaon, one held; Mumbai: Eighty-year-old arrested for ‘raping’ eight-year-old girl; Delhi High Court says 14-year-old gave consent, convict’s rape term reduced; Four-year-old girl raped by school van driver: Police”

Rape rears its ugly façade almost every day in daily newspapers through these headlines. News is filled with all kind of cases from brutal rape and murder by strangers to gang-rape by acquaintances to even rape by own relatives and spouse and it’s not limited to girls in their ‘ripe ages’ with ‘full blossom’ but the mentality has degraded to an extent that even a minor girl of 4 years, an infant girl or an old lady in her eighties are not spared.

Can anyone justify what do such ‘monsters’ see in a 4-year-old innocent girl and let alone an infant?

No! I am not justifying that raping a 20 year girl is acceptable but I am trying to question those who mercilessly blame that women show their body to get raped! She automatically becomes a target of ‘Victim-blaming’, where she is not just a victim of dreadful crime but a sadist society as well!

Sexual violence is often normalized and excused under allegations.

 “She should not have worn such clothes, after all boys will be boys!” “Oh! She was drunk, this was bound to happen, she had no moral values!”, “A husband has a right on a Women’s body that is not rape!”, ”Why was she working so late, a woman should be home before sunset!”

The irony is many times women themselves are seen justifying above statements! This does not make me angry but I pity such women and I have empathy for them. By labeling or accusing the victim, women can see the victim as different from themselves. These women reassure themselves by thinking, “Because I am not like her, because I do not do that, this would never happen to me.” Really? Wish that was true but it’s not, It can happen to anyone!

We need to stop objectification of women’s body and glamorization of sexual violence! It’s not a women’s fault, not her fate, not something a women need to be ashamed of, she did nothing to provoke rape and she is definitely not ‘sinned’.

I have come across varied views on rape as a societal block, but mostly they fall in to two main categories.

One who thinks rape is women’s fault!

To all the ‘wise men and women’ out there who sit at the ‘comfort of their home’ and lecture on how a girl could have avoided rape, how she invited it, have you ever thought how despicable you’re thinking is?

All are not born with luxury in their lap! There are women who are the sole bread-winner of their family, there are women who are ambitious, and there are women who are free-thinkers, who believe in living their life.

But yes! With all due respect to your sordid mentality, No one just no one asks to be raped! In the process of justifying your morbid thinking you are not just ‘Slut-shaming’ the victim but shielding the rapist as well!

There are no words to describe the horror of images of a women being dehumanized, barely considered a human corpse with alien looking fingers moving all over the flesh. When the hunger is met for and after hours of torture, disgrace, enormous pain and helplessness, she is thrown away, lifeless, like a piece of trash; in a gutter; on the road; railway tracks or even brutally murdered.

On the other hand, we have quite a good number of ‘men and women with moral values’ who supports grave punishment for rapist, they don’t blame women and are against slut-shaming, I am sure most of you reading this fall under this category.

Yes, we are filled with anger, we criticize, we organize candle marches, we cry, we have guilt’s that we live in a society where women still don’t have any rights to live freely. Yes, we are ‘good human beings!’

May I ask, have you ever stopped a boy from eve teasing a girl in your own society, while you were crossing the lanes during office hours? ‘I would have, if only I was not getting late for office.’

May I ask, have you ever talked to your male child when you saw him watching a scene in a movie about a girl being hit by her boyfriend? ‘I would have but he is only a child, he wouldn’t understand.’

May I ask, how many times in your own office, home or society have you ever stood against injustice to women, no matter how minor it is? ‘I would have, but that is not under my control’

May I ask to all women, how many times have you stood for the rights of your own daughters, sisters, and relatives in front of the men in the house? ‘I would have, but men are the decision-maker, aren’t they?

You cannot bring about a National change,   if you are not ready to fight for it in your own homes, own societies, own cities. Stop playing a victim in your own homes, stop being a spectator, stop accepting things that you think is wrong.

It’s high time we learn to take a stand!

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Harsh Reality..!!

The Bible makes note of several supportive in-law relationships, namely Ruth and Naomi, Peter and his mother-in-law, and Jethro, who guided Moses! But how often we come across such relationships in real life? Society might call me the ‘Monster daughter-in-law’ as I am opposed to in-laws moving in with us or any such societal norms! Firstly I know this will create more repercussions to my post by mentioning that as a daughter-in-law she has no moral obligation to caring for  in-laws, her in-laws were not the one who raised her, they were not the one who helped her grow and they were not the one who instilled values of substance in her. Whatever she is today, be a professional who achieved heights, a musician who wooed masses through her talent or a homemaker who is the Queen of her own palace, is because of her parents not in-laws!
There could only be one reason for women to perform duties towards her in-laws and that would be her love for her husband, as he is the one she loved and married.
But is it just women, who needs to play this role of self-sacrifice? Why are men always spared from the dilemma and the whole idea of living with in-laws? A girl is always judged if she doesn’t agree to living with in-laws, she automatically becomes the ‘bad daughter-in-law’, ‘devilish wife’ and ‘worth-less sister-in-law’! 
Honestly, I would love to be there for my in-laws, take care of them when needed, love them, respect them and spend time with them but for this I need not live with them or if I did, it should be my choice not a societal norm!
Sharing the same roof between two couples and especially two women rarely works for the fact that there are not just generational gaps  but differences in the way of living and the competition of ruling the  house. If given a chance I would love to be living near to my in-laws where we are just a call away; next block, next building, even next door,  just not next room! But amen to this society you are the ‘good one’ if you reside in the same house and hate and disrespect in-laws rather than stand by your views and love them wholeheartedly!
I want to ask how many of you actually liked the idea of living under the same roof with in-laws? And to clarify I mean staying with them for ‘their’ good and not ‘yours’!