Rape: A Societal Block

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If you don’t feel her terror, you are not human!

“Student abducted, raped in moving car in Gurgaon, one held; Mumbai: Eighty-year-old arrested for ‘raping’ eight-year-old girl; Delhi High Court says 14-year-old gave consent, convict’s rape term reduced; Four-year-old girl raped by school van driver: Police”

Rape rears its ugly façade almost every day in daily newspapers through these headlines. News is filled with all kind of cases from brutal rape and murder by strangers to gang-rape by acquaintances to even rape by own relatives and spouse and it’s not limited to girls in their ‘ripe ages’ with ‘full blossom’ but the mentality has degraded to an extent that even a minor girl of 4 years, an infant girl or an old lady in her eighties are not spared.

Can anyone justify what do such ‘monsters’ see in a 4-year-old innocent girl and let alone an infant?

No! I am not justifying that raping a 20 year girl is acceptable but I am trying to question those who mercilessly blame that women show their body to get raped! She automatically becomes a target of ‘Victim-blaming’, where she is not just a victim of dreadful crime but a sadist society as well!

Sexual violence is often normalized and excused under allegations.

 “She should not have worn such clothes, after all boys will be boys!” “Oh! She was drunk, this was bound to happen, she had no moral values!”, “A husband has a right on a Women’s body that is not rape!”, ”Why was she working so late, a woman should be home before sunset!”

The irony is many times women themselves are seen justifying above statements! This does not make me angry but I pity such women and I have empathy for them. By labeling or accusing the victim, women can see the victim as different from themselves. These women reassure themselves by thinking, “Because I am not like her, because I do not do that, this would never happen to me.” Really? Wish that was true but it’s not, It can happen to anyone!

We need to stop objectification of women’s body and glamorization of sexual violence! It’s not a women’s fault, not her fate, not something a women need to be ashamed of, she did nothing to provoke rape and she is definitely not ‘sinned’.

I have come across varied views on rape as a societal block, but mostly they fall in to two main categories.

One who thinks rape is women’s fault!

To all the ‘wise men and women’ out there who sit at the ‘comfort of their home’ and lecture on how a girl could have avoided rape, how she invited it, have you ever thought how despicable you’re thinking is?

All are not born with luxury in their lap! There are women who are the sole bread-winner of their family, there are women who are ambitious, and there are women who are free-thinkers, who believe in living their life.

But yes! With all due respect to your sordid mentality, No one just no one asks to be raped! In the process of justifying your morbid thinking you are not just ‘Slut-shaming’ the victim but shielding the rapist as well!

There are no words to describe the horror of images of a women being dehumanized, barely considered a human corpse with alien looking fingers moving all over the flesh. When the hunger is met for and after hours of torture, disgrace, enormous pain and helplessness, she is thrown away, lifeless, like a piece of trash; in a gutter; on the road; railway tracks or even brutally murdered.

On the other hand, we have quite a good number of ‘men and women with moral values’ who supports grave punishment for rapist, they don’t blame women and are against slut-shaming, I am sure most of you reading this fall under this category.

Yes, we are filled with anger, we criticize, we organize candle marches, we cry, we have guilt’s that we live in a society where women still don’t have any rights to live freely. Yes, we are ‘good human beings!’

May I ask, have you ever stopped a boy from eve teasing a girl in your own society, while you were crossing the lanes during office hours? ‘I would have, if only I was not getting late for office.’

May I ask, have you ever talked to your male child when you saw him watching a scene in a movie about a girl being hit by her boyfriend? ‘I would have but he is only a child, he wouldn’t understand.’

May I ask, how many times in your own office, home or society have you ever stood against injustice to women, no matter how minor it is? ‘I would have, but that is not under my control’

May I ask to all women, how many times have you stood for the rights of your own daughters, sisters, and relatives in front of the men in the house? ‘I would have, but men are the decision-maker, aren’t they?

You cannot bring about a National change,   if you are not ready to fight for it in your own homes, own societies, own cities. Stop playing a victim in your own homes, stop being a spectator, stop accepting things that you think is wrong.

It’s high time we learn to take a stand!

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38 thoughts on “Rape: A Societal Block

  1. Very true post… it is all because of physicality of life, the society play big role in this kind of acts and everyone talks about rape, punishment, give sympathy but no one ever focusing on its solution, the transformation at individual level is needed, rape is not only a sexual fulfilment a men look for it is more than that, he wants to possess the thing because somewhere consciously or unconsciously it is implemented in man mind that women are an object, object that can be possessed….

    It is true punishment is to be given to the one who commits this kind of act but more than that important is its solution and for that Transformation is required, transformation at the individual level in this world, which can make men come out the boundaries of the physicality of life and be connected to existence consciously…

    Nice post dear…

  2. Love this post. Totally true! So many women and girls blame themselves for sexual abuse or blame a victim due to what they were wearing or how they were behaving. But these things still give a man absolutely no right to sexually harass someone against their will. People always think that alone they cannot do anything to make the change, but it has to start somewhere and with someone right?!

    • That is true and I agree. The mindset has to change and it has to start with self first. Thanks for penning down your thoughts here and glad you liked the post.

  3. Not everyone can or wants to speak up about being raped. It’s always her choice and should never be forced to. Sometimes just knowing women are speaking can be hopeful. Thank you. I’m on twitter also if you want to connect @WolfCub657 where I talk about a range of topic relating to male violence

  4. There is more that society can do, individually and as a whole, to deal with this issue and it starts with actually listening to victims of these crimes. I spent most of my life being raped and being blamed in one form or another. Many of us, women, spend every waking minute trying to bring about some change which will benefit victims. How can you help? Next time a woman or child tells you they fear for their safety or they have been raped, listen without question. We don’t need rescuing, we need freedom that men have already been granted. My blog is to bring attention to women’s issues and male violence, feel free to get in touch

    • Thanks a lot for putting this across. You inspired me and I am sure have been inspiring a number of women out there to be strong and to come forward and raise voice, fight for right! I am glad to connect with you and would be happy to be in touch. Take care.

  5. I can only say that, initially i thought it was driven my lust but later on I realized that its about a sadistic pleasure which one gets while imposing himself/herself over a weak victim/survivor.. So essentially, its not only about a pound of flesh but also n unreasonable domination and expression of power in this patriarchy which is certainly followed by lack of tolerance, inferiority complex which mostly men suffer..

    The only solution is to raise voice and strike back with equal force at every level that is both at a personal level, and also at the executive and judicial level

    Thank you

      • Its completely my pleasure ..
        In fact thank you for raising this issue..because it will open a Pandora box
        I thus believe the more we EMPOWER GIRLS (politically, socially and economically) the more rapidly this can be reduced.. Instead of demanding EQUALITY because in this struggle the claims are restricted to the standard of men which will not be the optimum use of women’s potential as many believe that women do possess more potential than men !

        Thank You !

      • Absolutely! Half of the crimes against women will decrease once the women are made self-sufficient and other half in the subsequent generations.

      • I think this post of yours will develop and cement many more such strong, clear and unadulterated thoughts and change will soon be visible !!
        Do take care and thank you again for sharing this post followed by such thoughts !

  6. Well dats d harsh reality of our society…Injustice 2women prevails in all stratas 4m rich 2poor…Its high time people started talking about it.. atleast..😭

  7. Ironically we are nation who revolts against a piece of fiction in the name of our history and pride but real issues that actually shames a country is spoken about. What a shame.

    • That’s true! Instead of revolting for issues that are history if we joined hands for safety, integrity and rights of women who are alive, a lot could have been different today!

  8. I don’t have much words to describe my feelings right now. But as a woman I do feel that Yes! we need to stand up for ourselves and should stop being a victim of fate! Thanks for this post Ashrita.

  9. I am speechless! Each one of us sitting and watching such news on televisions do get provoked, we all think at that moment that we would do something about it but only momentarily. Why? Its a mindset if it doesn’t happen to us, it doesn’t affect us. We all comprehend the facts but exclude it the minute next headline flashes by. As men, I feel shameful for all the times, I might have knowingly or unknowingly overlooked a ‘girl in need of help’!

  10. What I would say, Ashrita? ‘Very thought provoking’, ‘Well said’, ‘Rightly pointed out’? Will my comments minimise any rape case? My head lowers down in shame… It’s not about physical only, we rape emotionally and mentally as well. Yes, I said ‘We’ because I am part of that group called ‘Men’. When God created mankind He gave males physical strength for a purpose: ‘To lead his family by earning and protecting…’ They took it very seriously and earned and protected only their own families, not others… Shame! Shame! Shame!

    You mentioned about 4 years old girl… I know about a baby of few months only… Huh! 🙁

    Hope this societal block will ever be removed. Feeling extremely down reading this.

    • This is a harsh reality of our society these days, We keep hearing news about brutal rapes, injustice, murder and violence. May be for a day, a week and may be a month we feel sorry about the victim but somehow we just don’t do anything about it. Why is it when we see or hear a girl who works at our home being beaten up by her husband, we turn blind ears and never do anything about it ?Today as I sit here listening to one more case of rape, I wonder what is it that I as an individual can change?

      • You are right… I keep troubling my mind with such thoughts as well when I hear but again forget…and your article again made me feel guilty of silence… But also I don’t know how to go about it… In a state of confusion… Huh! 😥

      • I know, ‘silence’ is one of the major reason these cases are exponentially on rise. Either the voices are hushed by power or in the name of disgrace. Few cases that do come to notice are forgotten in the piles of cases that come up. I am not saying we can immediately bring a change but atleast we can try, can try to be vigilant, be compassionate and make a pledge to fight atleast one injustice that we across in our own daily life towards women. Communicate as much as possible, I believe writers like you can touch hearts, even if it’s not the world but at least few! They say habits are hard to break, guess we should all make fighting for women’s dignity a habit!

      • Very well said Doc. And I am thinking as we right about love this Vday month I think we should keep one week for “Raising Voice” (In support of a woman) something like that. When I look at myself, I see a feeble me in this regard but as the a pen can be used like a sword and these days our types words have to work that way. Let’s do something about it positively. Keep poking me Ashrita.

I would love to hear your thoughts